As
fearless editor and publisher of the NC Motorcyclists website, I will be riding
with the notorious Capitol City Motorcycle Gang on their odyssey from Lansing,
MI to Sturgis, SD. At the risk of life and limb, I hope to document their
quest for tattoos, semi-naked women, drunken brawls, and finally, the Holy Grail
for Harley Davidson riders, a T-shirt that says "I rode my bike to
Sturgis".
You can count on me to print the truth... or at least, a reasonable facsimile.
Day
1 (7/31/00) - Lansing, MI to Escanaba, MI: 379.2 miles
Met at the Dunkin' Donuts at the crack of dawn. Discovered these guys are so mean that they will push a fellow's bike over while he's
helping a bus load of nuns and orphans. Uneventful ride up to the Mackinaw
Bridge where the fog was so
thick you could not see the water nor the top of the bridge. One lane was closed so that you had to
ride slide on the wire mesh grate for several miles.
If you have never had pasties (pronounced pass tees) in the U.P., then
you are probably still alive today.
After doing serious damage to a side of beef at the Hereford & Hops in
Escanaba, the gang terrorized the local community via an evening drive through
the countryside. Party animals, one and all, we didn't get back to the motel
till 8:00 p.m.
In case the FBI is monitoring this site, I have chosen to use the following
aliases for gang members:
Jim M - "Disappointed that the commemorative plaque at my
birthplace was taken down."
Dick - "At dinner, one of the bikes was stolen but once they
realized it was a Honda, it was returned."
John - "I only regret not buying a different seat for the
motorcycle. Suffering from the ailment ass-sore-itis".
Bill - "The bridge was easy without the 45 mph crosswind."
A rose (Goldwing) parked among thorns
|
Outlaw Motorcycle Gang |
Only guy with reverse, backs in
45th Parallel, MI |
Club Med
Escanaba, MI |
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Day
2 (8/1/00) - Escanaba, MI to St. Cloud, MN: 406 miles
Saw lots of wildlife - deer, pheasant, turkey, Upers. Spent an
enjoyable hour watching these highly trained professionals putting on their rain
gear - Psycho even dressed himself.
Jim M - "Tried to pickup a chick in a truck with loud pipes but
when Jim B revved his Honda, it scared her away. The whole gang is
wondering what clothes of Joyce's, Dick will be wearing tomorrow. I am
really worried because I am his room-mate."
Dick - "Cooked, booked, soaked, and stuffed. Happy as can
be."
John - "Hoping to make it to Sturgis before looking like a
lobster. Still can't find anyone to braid my ponytail - Ellen come
quick. P.S. - if any of my GM designers are looking at this right now,
shouldn't you be designing cars?!?"
Bill - "First time ever on a Twirly Water Slide. Also, the first time
the St. Cloud fire department had to refill the pool."
"Wrongway"
Leader of the pack |
"Wild Man"
Gang's enforcer |
"The Deacon"
Consigliore - strong, silent type |
"Psycho"
The brains of the outfit...and babe magnet |
Favorite sign of the day: "Booze or bait - no wait"
Favorite bumper sticker of the day: "Impeach Clinton and her
husband"
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Day
3 (8/2/00) - St. Cloud, MN to Pierre, SD: 390 miles
After several days of observing the Harleys shake, rock & roll, and
vibrate, I believe I now understand why women love to ride them. It would
take a least a dozen "C" cell batteries to create a similar effect
elsewhere.
The animal magnetism of this group was apparent at lunch when the waitresses
volunteered to give up their tips and hugs in exchange for a ride on the
motorcycles. Equally impressive was the guys replying that "they
could have their trucks, dogs, and kids but they had better not touch the
bikes".
Dick - "A spotless blue sky, a patchwork of critters, crops, and
wild flowers as far as the eye could see and a two lane ribbon of highway that
snaked through two states - God, what a ride! The only thing missing was
some wacky weed and my woman."
Jim M - "We heard a rumor that the northern SD people were going to
shoot the bikers as they came into their state, so we made Jim B go first on the
Honda because we heard they shot at the leaders. I got to drive a Goldwing
for the first time but when I got back on Maggie, she made a wasp go in my boot
and sting me."
Bill - "Too many hairpin turns in SD (all two of them). Pool at
the hotel felt refreshing - no waterslide, so water still remains in the
pool."
John - "I don't know where he got the idea I was psycho unless it has
any to do with me waving at the cows as they watched us ride by. I was
friendly up until the point the cows started mooning me - nothing more
disgusting than seeing an entire herd with their rears backed up to the barbed
wire. That's one photo we did not want on the Internet. As far as
the 'babe magnet' comment, Honey, honest, they meant nothing."
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Day
4 (8/3/00) - Pierre, SD to Spearfish, SD: 200 miles
Best ride/day so far. Rolling countryside coming into the hills of
Sturgis. Met additional gang members in Spearfish and cruised Spearfish
Canyon (must ride for motorcyclists), Deadwood, and the soon to be zoo,
Sturgis.
Dick - "It just keeps getting better - still no wacky weed, but my
woman is coming tomorrow."
Bill - "SD gas stations are elusive but the scenery is not.
Arrived at zoo at mid-day Thursday."
Jim M - "The trees are so far apart in SD that we saw a woodpecker
toting a lunch. Finally, found a gas station and it had outdoor johns but
had a cappuccino machine. Life does not get any better than that."
John - "Was viciously attacked by a fence rail in downtown Sturgis but
because of my cat-like agility and superior physical condition, I was able to
avoid injury."
There have been numerous requests for a photo of Jim B. In keeping with
this site's policy of always caving in to the silly demands of a fickle
public trying to exceed the expectations of our viewers, please enjoy
the following:
No words needed |
A true rose amongst thorns |
Graphic portrayal of how not to ride your bike |
The gang's hideout in Spearfish, SD |
The Bunkhouse |
Additional suspects |
Makes the Marlboro Man look like a sissy |
Gang strategy session in Spearfish Canyon |
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Day
5 (8/4/00) - Spearfish to Deadwood to Sturgis to Spearfish: 76 miles
Not content with the local talent, the gang imports some expensive, hot biker
babes from back East to Spearfish.
"Nasty Netty"
The mouthy one |
"The Pegster"
Short but fierce |
"Snag Savage"
|
"Psychedelic"
Drives Psycho crazy |
After a short ride through the canyon, we hit Sturgis with a vengeance.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll are just some of the things that we saw on
t-shirts. After single handedly reviving the country's economy in a
shopping spree that would have made Al Capone proud, these road warriors hit the bar and
did not arrive back at the hideout until the late hours of the afternoon.
Dick - "My woman arrived! Deadwood was fun because the town
'nutcase' tried to pickup Nasty Netty."
Jim M - "The girls arrived today. We can no longer share
motel rooms (bill doubled), our meal tickets doubled, we have no room in our
bikes, our mileage got worse, and it takes twice as long at a stop. Sure
glad they are here."
John - "My bike handled much better in the canyon with my new
Psychedelic rear stabilizing unit, she only added further stimulation to the
vibration of my iron Road King."
Bill - "The Pegster arrived and I got my allowance. Thank god, I
was out of cash."
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Day
6 (8/5/00) - Spearfish, SD to Greybull, WY: 306 miles
Great ride over to Greybull. Shell Canyon would have been the highlight
of the day, if it had not been for the lightning, rain, hail, and hurricane force
winds.
As if this group was not scary enough, I met the rest of the gang today.
Dick - "These guys are really getting on my nerves. We keep
riding around in circles."
Jim M - "I got to do something I never did before in August - I got
to make a snowball and throw it at Wild Man."
John - "Psychedelic felt like a real biker after we went through
the maelstrom. With the death grip around my neck, prevented her from
premature dismount."
Bill - "Lightning on the mountain scared everyone but Wrongway.
He wanted to push forward but we chickened out and took shelter."
Shell Canyon, WY |
Enough to make your blood run cold |
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Day
7 (8/6/00) - Greybull, WY to Spearfish, SD: 344 miles
Happy Birthday Mickey! May you live to be as old as Jim M looks. Beautiful day, beautiful ride - another
great mountain pass.
Dick - "Wine, women, and Wyoming - what more could you ask."
Jim M - "Got a little homesick so I led the group on a couple miles
of gravel road. Snag Savage's vest blew off and stopped traffic for miles
on I-90. Fortunately, she was no longer in it."
John - "My cat-like agility enabled me to come to a complete stop
on an Interstate to rescue Snag's vest" (let this be a warning to other
bikers that taking your clothes off while riding my be hazardous to the rider
behind you).
Bill - "Great ride on the mountain. Hot ride back to
Spearfish."
Sunday morning church service on the mountain
|
Clearly, their best side...
Some moons, a little fuller than others |
Lock up your women and children
|
Where else would a biker gang go...
Devils' Tower, WY |
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Day
8 (8/7/00) - Spearfish to Custer State Park to Spearfish: 206 miles
Another must ride for motorcyclists - Iron Mountain Road (450 degree turns), the Wildlife
Loop, and Needles Highway. Twisting roads with great views and lots of
wildlife. Unfortunately, the number of motorcycles that attend the Sturgis
Rally became painfully apparent today - a constant wave of bikes and lines
everywhere you went.
I believe these were old, famous bikers
Mt. Rushmore, SD |
Highly dangerous, flesh eating varmit
Wildlife Loop, Custer State Park, SD |
Worst moment of the day: Waiting almost an hour for my buffalo burger.
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Day
9 (8/8/00) - Spearfish, SD to Sioux Falls, SD: 406 miles
The incredible pace that these alpha males live by has worn me out mentally
and physically. I can only take so much of "life on the razor's
edge". So, I bid farewell to these legends in the industry... well, maybe not the
motorcycle industry... and head back to NC. What more can I say about
these macho misfits and their iron machines that has not already been written on
the walls of some of the finest restrooms in the country.
Several newspapers are
reporting that this may be the biggest Sturgis Rally ever! I would not be
surprised if it goes over half a million bikers. There was a steady flow
of machines headed west all the way over to Sioux Falls.
Thanks to everyone and particularly, Jim & Annette, who made this trip so
enjoyable. Hope to see you again. If your travels take you to NC,
please do not hesitate to contact me.
Favorite bumper sticker of the day: "Harley drag-racing because
other sports require only one ball"
Rooneyism: Ever wonder why the Highway Department puts up a sign that
says "Bump Ahead"? Given the cost of the sign and the labor to
install and later remove it, we are probably talking thousands of dollars or
considering it is done by the government, perhaps, tens of thousands of
dollars. Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to just fix the road?!?
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Trip Statistics (via GPS) - NC to MI
to SD/WY and back...
Total Miles: 4,836
Average Speed: 56.2 mph
Riding Time: 86.0 hours
The real Jim B...
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